My Dress is a Size 14

Last week, my mom and I decided to head out to a bridal show nearby. It was completely impromptu, and we had no idea what we were getting into. We figured we would walk around, get some business cards and free samples, and start diving into the madness that is wedding planning. For those of you that aren't aware, wedding planning is a lot of work! I had no idea where to start with anything, so we decided the bridal show would be the best start for ideas. After pigging out at Sheetz (another beautiful reason I love Western PA,) we started off to the show. Once I figured out that there was a fashion show at 11, we decided to detour to David's Bridal to take a look around.
One thing I learned as a result of going to David's Bridal: there is no such thing as "going to take a look around."  We walked into the store, thinking to just browse for ideas, and immediately I was assaulted with women giving me forms to sign, bags of books to look through, and free chocolate to eat. (Skinny Cow only, gotta fit into the dress!) As my consultant measured me, I started to get a little embarrassed.
For one thing, I was in no way prepared to try on wedding dresses. You're supposed to be there with your bridal party and future mother-in-law and all that crew, not just your mom. You're supposed to be tiny and fit into every dress they shove you in and leave room for them to clip it smaller so it fits better. (Warning! This next one may get weird!) You're supposed to be skinny, wearing the correct bra and underwear (not cheetah stuff, in case anyone was wondering,) and definitely not bloated from the effects of a combination of Sheetz food and Mother Nature. I've watched enough Say Yes to the Dress to know these little facts. The big reason for my embarrassment, though, was watching myself get dressed. I am all curves and awkward angles - big hips, big chest, big thighs; you name it, I have it in the plus size. Trying on the dresses was starting to get almost uncomfortable, because I kept not fitting into dresses, and only seeing my imperfections.
So you can imagine my surprise when I stood in the dressing room in a corset and slip, trying on dress after dress. Before I even knew it, I slipped on another dress that the consultant had put in the room for me...and just stopped. It was perfect. As I walked out of the dressing room, I saw that the dress didn't close in back. As a matter of fact, barely any of them did. The consultant and the seamstress came into the dressing room after, taking more measurements and deciding that I would need to order a size up from the sample - making me wear a size 14. At that moment, though, I knew that it didn't matter that it wasn't the right size. It didn't matter that it needed altered. All that mattered was that finally, after what seemed like a lifetime of searching, I felt beautiful.
Sure, I've felt beautiful a few times in my life. Once in a while when I had a nice outfit on, or was on a special date with Ryan, I would feel kind of beautiful. Otherwise, though, I never really felt it. According to society, my size is too fat. Too big. Too much of everything. Size 8 is too big for jeans to be on a woman, because it's much too far away from a size 0 - let alone a 00. A large shirt isn't ideal, because only extra small shirts are okay. And, most definitely, a bride shouldn't feel beautiful if her dress is anything bigger than a 4.
I'm not one to mince words. I obviously don't care what others think, considering I just named my sizes on the internet - big no-no for society today! Why should I care what people think of me? Nothing is wrong with my body. My God made me exactly as He wants me. Why worry about His workmanship?

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

We are not our own. Our bodies don't even belong to us - they're temples for the Holy Spirit. That temple was made and designed to be exactly as it is - whether it's a size 0 or a size 10.
I have oodles to say on this subject - it's a hot button topic nowadays. As a curvy girl, I can choose to either shut up and accept what society says, or I can embrace the temple God has given me. My favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 31:30.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
Who cares what people think about our bodies? What does it matter that I don't look the same as you, or my friends, or the supermodel on the tabloid? It doesn't matter how much I put into my appearance. Beauty will fade away one day. It's not going to matter in 1 year, in 5 years, in 10 years, or even an hour from now. I am God's temple, beautiful in a size 0, AND a size 14. Whatever size I end up in come November, I'm still going to be beautiful to my family and friends, to my incredible husband-to-be as he watches me walk to him, and to my God, who I know will be smiling down on His daughter as she gets married.
My challenge to you is this - are you caught up in your body image? Are you concerned what people say when you go shopping or think about wearing a certain piece of clothing? Stop right there. Don't be. God loves you just as you are, no matter the number on the tag. He made you exactly as you are, and He's made incredible things. If He can make the universes and place all the stars in the sky just so, who are we to question how He designed us?  Read Psalm 139:14 until you have it memorized - we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Consider your self image. Do you realize how beautiful you are? If not, take a look - you are.
Are you in?

-Kimber.

Blessings.

Well, hello out there. It's been quite some time since I last posted - really, how has it been 8 months? I don't quite remember how to even post on this blog anymore, and I don't remember where I was going with anything I posted previously...but it's okay. It'll work out, somehow.
I tried making a resolution for this year to post at least once a week, but I didn't even bother making it. With how crazy my life has been over the past few months, and with how crazy it most certainly will be in the coming months, how could I commit to posting every week? I'm certainly going to try and post as much as possible, but life happens, my friends. And I certainly will not be sorry because of it.
Just to fill everyone up to speed with my life, I'll give a quick recap of the past year or so. Things have been crazy, and much has changed - for the better!
Blessing #1 - I'm halfway through my senior year of college, and it is terrifying. If someone would have come to me a year ago at this time and told me how insane this next year would be, I would have probably locked myself in a room somewhere and cried. There have been days of total exhaustion, of questioning God's plan for my life (several of those a week, in fact!) and days where I absolutely had to drag myself to the car to make the drive to Pittsburgh. Student teaching has been fun, but it certainly has been difficult and oh-so-exhausting. Like I said, I'm halfway through. This next semester starting in a week is sure to be the craziest and most difficult yet. I'm ready though, and I can do it.
Blessing #2 - Gone are the days where posts like these are frequent. God works in mysterious ways, my friends...and sometimes those ways are completely strange, unexpected, and incredible. I had the blessing of meeting the love of my life in this past year, and as of last December we're officially engaged! Our wedding is planned for November, and so my winter break has been filled with wedding planning, thinking of what to do and where to have it, and just sitting back and seeing what an incredible time it's been. He's my best friend, a total man of God who is dedicated to his fiancee, his family, his job, and his God. I'm so blessed by having him in my life, and I can't wait for our life together to begin!
Blessing #3 - Since it's my last semester here coming up, that means that I'll be graduating in May. In less than 5 months, I'll be finished with my education and thrown into the real world. Last year at this time, I was terrified to even consider what would happen when I graduated and had to consider reality. Now I'm filled with this weird sense of peace. I know I should be flustered - finding a job, much less a teaching job, in today's world is a miracle all in itself - but really, I'm not. At least, not at the level other people are. I know it'll be difficult to find a job, and it can be super stressful (and adding the fluster of planning a wedding on top of that!) but I know it'll all work out. Jeremiah 29:11, right? Goodness knows I've been leaning on that verse lately! So I can't find a job right away. That's okay. I can substitute as much - or as little - as I want, and continue searching as I live with my HUSBAND (!) who thankfully has a great job that can provide for both of us until I find one for myself. God is faithful. It'll work out.

So, there's a lot going on. Many changes will be happening this year, and hopefully this blog will be right with it. Forgive me for the gaps in posting so far, and for the gaps in posting that will most certainly happen in the future. No official challenge happening in this post, but I would encourage you to sit back and count your blessings. It's easy to get caught up and overwhelmed in the nonsense that can accompany a new year - resolutions failing, heading back to work with a busy schedule, all of those fun things - and so it can be difficult to get away and see the good in all the fuss. Take a piece of paper and start simple - your family, your friends, your health, anything. You may be surprised how quickly your list - and your awareness of your blessings - can grow.

Are you in?

-Kimber.

P.S. - Here's a picture of my fiance and me taken at our engagement shoot yesterday. Isn't he handsome?

Blessings in Disguise

Well, hi again. Long long LONG time no see. I hope everyone had a fantastic semester and past 5 months. I know I did.
Honestly, I could give some long excuse on why I haven't posted since I was a junior in college. (Senior in college, holler at your girl!) But really, it's just like this: I've been pretty dry. I've been bare bones, spiritually. I had so much to do in so little time that I left little to no time for what really mattered - spending time with my Savior. I had 19 credits jam packed into 10 weeks, then full time prestudent teaching in an Autism Support room the last 5 weeks of the semester. I found myself a boyfriend, and he's incredible. I've been trying to cram in as much friend time as possible, but I left out the biggest and most important friend - God.
So, pretty much, I apologize. Things are different. I feel much, much different than I was 5 months ago - and I can almost promise you now, I don't ever want to disappear for that long again. 
I'm back, I'm better than ever, and I'm ready to share. Stay tuned.
Are you in?

-Kimber.

I Love My Husband. Right?

I spent the evening at my friends' house last night. They no longer go to my church because they now are serving on staff at a new church nearby, but we didn't want to end our small group time - aka, get coffee, eat cookies, and fill everyone in on what's happened since we last saw each other. Considering we haven't since before finals started in December, there was quite a lot to fill people in on. I talked about going to Passion in Atlanta, Georgia last week and how incredible that was, my friend BDubs talked about her life, and my friend Danetta talked - a little - about her life, until she was forcibly removed into the car to leave.
Before we sat down and actually started talking, coffee was necessary. I blame Angela for getting me hooked on coffee in the first place - I never drank it before I was her friend, and now I drink it (if it's more creamer than coffee...) all the time. She brewed me up a cup of gingerbread coffee (delish) and handed me the mug - which is when I started laughing. Sarcastically laughing of course, because this is what I do. Why? Angela had given me this cup:

I love my husband.

Now, obviously, everyone in the house started laughing. The thought of Kimber having a cup that said something that related to A) a relationship, B) a male, and C) Kimber being in a relationship with a male naturally leads to something comical and cat related being said within the next few minutes. (It happened. 30 seconds.) 

After I got home, I started laughing again at the picture. But then I got to thinking - do I really love my husband?

Yes, I don't know him. Or, if I do, I don't know what guy he is. (If I know you and you have an idea, feel free to share the news anytime. Seriously. Like now.) (Right now.) I've been single for a year now, and haven't gone on a real date or had anything serious during that entire time. Sure, I had some feelings for one or two guys but God shut those doors in my face both times - and I'm thankful now that He did. Those are two less doors I have to face until I find my husband.

I remember going to some sort of youth convention - Silver Ring Thing, maybe - where they were selling shirts that said something like "I love my husband - and I haven't even met him yet." That's so true. After thinking of all this, and realizing what I just shared, it hit me - I guess I really do love my husband.

Jeremiah 29:11. One of the easiest verses to remember in the Bible - coincidentally, it's one of the most used and most shared. God has a plan for us, a plan to give us hope. A plan to give us a future. Hopefully, in my future is a husband and not a life filled with cats. (Do I sound bitter yet?) Until I meet him, then I'll be here, loving him right where I am.

I don't really like New Year's Resolutions, but I guess this could count as more of a prayer than a resolution. I'm promising my future husband to let this year be his, and His. I'm not gonna focus on looking for my husband this year. I'm going to let God put him in my life, whenever He feels is best. I'll have to work on my patience - a lot - but it'll happen. I hope.

But what if it doesn't? Then I'll still be here, loving my husband. Except this time, if it's not a real guy on earth, then I'll be waiting for a heavenly husband. God says that the church - us - is His beautiful bride, and He dotes on us like a bridegroom does on His wedding day. Maybe I won't wear the wedding dress during my life on earth. If I don't? Oh well. I'm not too concerned. I'll be wearing mine in heaven as I meet the one man who loves me more than any person on earth ever could, anyway - Jesus.

Are you like me, waiting for your significant other to be placed in your life by God, complete with a flashing neon lit sign? Are you getting lonely and wishing for that relationship with another person? If you are, don't give up. God knows whats best for you. If He has someone out there for you, they'll come when He wants them to, and not a minute before. If He doesn't? Then get ready for a life filled with adventure with God, complete with a life in heaven with Him. Either way, it'll be awesome. Just trust Him. He knows what He's doing. Just sit back, grab your Bible and some coffee (and a great mug) and dive into His promises. Who knows what will happen in the adventurous life that God has planned for you?

Are you in?

-Kimber.

Angels Among Us

A few weeks ago I was asked to speak at a women's breakfast held at my church. My senior pastor's wife had messaged me on Facebook and asked if I would consider creating a short devotion to share with the ladies at the beginning of this month. I was pretty surprised to be asked - especially after she said she got the idea to ask me after reading this blog! I guess God can do some pretty crazy things with something as simple as writing on the internet. 
The theme was Angels Among Us, and I knew right away what I wanted to write about. Every year around this time, pastors go into overdrive creating sermons about angels and their huge relevance to Christmas, as well as other significant events in the Bible. It's been overdone, really. I knew I didn't want my devo to be like all the others about that topic, so it got me to thinking - what other kinds of angels are there?
I started digging around in my Bible, looking for angels. There were several different angels at key scenes in scripture, like when Jesus rose on the third day. Mary rushed to the tomb and encountered a real deal Lucille angel, who told her that Jesus was no longer there, that He had risen. The same thing happened with another Mary in a another major scene regarding Jesus - His birth. Angels led shepherds and wise men from far away to a humble little stable in Bethlehem, where they found the Savior. In both of these cases there are actual angels in the scene. There are other angels, though, too.
Mary was at the tomb first - before any of the men, any of the disciples, even before any of the Roman guards could come back and see what had happened. She knew what she saw - or rather, didn't see - and ran back to tell the others. She was an angel to the disciples. She really followed Jesus and trusted Him, trusted that He really would come back from the dead even though it was impossible. She was an angel to Him.
Jesus' mother Mary sacrificed her entire life, reputation, future, and faith all to birth a child before she was married. She didn't question it, ask whether or not she was the best fit for the job, nothing. She just calmly accepted the huge task God had asked her to undertake and that was that. She was an angel.
After seeing this, I realized how many other angels there were in the Bible that didn't have the "technical" status of angel. They don't need the wings, halo, or flowing dress that everyone seems to figure them to have. They can be simple, everyday people. Everyday women. (Sorry guys - remember this was written for a women's breakfast, so you're outta luck here. Sorry!)
Angels can be mothers. We've already seen how Mary dedicated her entire life for God's plan, for His son. It says this in Luke 1:38 -

"And Mary said, 'Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.'"

She was completely willing to drop everything she had plans for and become a mother, even though she wasn't married so it would potentially cause her engagement to end, her reputation to ruin and her future to completely change. But she did it. 
Angels can be sisters. In Luke 10 we read about Mary and Martha - two sisters who had completely different views on what serving Jesus was about.

"Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who say at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, 'Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to come help me.' But the Lord answered her, 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.'" Luke 10: 38-42

Martha is so concerned about preparing a meal, a clean home, and a good image for the Lord that she isn't focused at all on what he is doing or saying. Mary sits at Jesus' feet, listening and learning. Mary has become an angel for Martha, who learns a lesson from her sister that would end up being the most important one she would ever learn.
Angels can be friends. Mary Magdalene had a crazy past - all sorts of pain and hurt had been a daily part of her life for a long time. She fully relied on God to take away all of the demons that had had a hold on her, and she freely trusted him to do all he said and more. That's a true friend - and an angel. Another great example of this is Lydia. Lydia was a businesswoman - something that, in those days, was extremely uncommon. She dealt in purple cloth, a very prestigious trade. Purple cloth was only for royals and the color literally meant royalty, so the people she worked with were not the average people out on the street. Lydia also had a house in a town that the Israelites were supposed to take over. She opened her house to the spies they sent in, promised them a place to stay for as long as necessary, and covered their existence when questioned by people in the town. She put her life on the line, as well as the lives of the spies, her family, and possibly all of the Israelites just by talking to the spies, forget about befriending them, keeping them safe, and helping them take over the town. She was a friend, and an angel.
Lastly, an angel can also be a mentor. In my own life I have several mentors - unfortunately, they too often know better than me. I can be very, VERY hardheaded sometimes. (Can I get an amen?) I don't like listening to other people regarding different things and situations in my life. I want to make my own mistakes. But more than once have my mentors guided me to something better for me than what I had originally wanted. They're angels in real life for me. In the Bible, there's a great example of this found in the book of Ruth. Ruth was married to one of Naomi's sons. When both of her sons and her husband died, Naomi's other daughter-in-law left for home in an attempt to find someone else to marry. Naomi tried again and again to get Ruth to do the same thing, but she refused. In return, Naomi gave Ruth sound advice in several things - including advice which lead Ruth to marry Boaz. While Ruth was an angel for not deserting Naomi and still being her friend and daughter even though her husband was gone, Naomi was an angel for helping mentor Ruth and leading her to Boaz - which would put Ruth in line for being one of Jesus' ancestors. 
Each of us have own angels in our lives that are like the examples here. Each of us have an angel in the form of a mother, sister, friend, or mentor whether we realize it or not. These women and men are placed in our lives for a reason - to help build us up, strengthen our walks with God, and become the woman or man of faith that God has called and created us each to be.

"A person standing along can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:12

The angels in our lives have our backs - God has placed each of us where we are for a reason: to strengthen each other, and to strengthen ourselves. 
In the Christmas season, many times we get so worked up finding the gifts and making sure everything is perfect to really reflect on the reason and the blessings we have. We need to step back and think for a second - what do I really have?
Your NR challenge is this - take a moment to find the angels in your own life. Do you have a mother that is willing to give up everything for you? A mentor who is there to talk to at all times? A friend who stands by your side no matter what? A sister who always has your back? They're there. Take a minute from the craziness of the season and count your blessings. You're surrounded by angels; they're all among us. Do you see them?
Are you in?

-Kimber.

Get on my Level.

"Get on my level." One of the best taunts in the world - at least, for my generation. I've heard my brother say it a million times as he plays Call of Duty or some sport or another. Friends of mine have said it to tease each other about something. It's in the media, with celebrities endorsing a product or advertising a game or whatever they're doing nowadays. If you do a Google image search for it, you receive 4,130,000,000 in 0.27 seconds. (At least, that's what Google tells me.) 
So what does it mean? Well, obviously, you have to get on that person's level. They're different than you - in a better way than you are. You're below them. When someone tells you to 'get on their level' in a sport, then you aren't playing as well as they are. If you hear it in the media, then that person is telling you you aren't as successful as they are. It's a taunt.A joke. A ridicule. 
What if it was a good thing, though?
In John 8, we read of a woman who was caught in the act of adultery. Like, literally. Some creeps were watching her and a man who was not her husband, and turned them in. The man got away - unfortunately for her, this was common and allowed in those times - leaving her to face the punishments. The Pharisees and scribes have this woman in the town square, waiting her punishment. To be caught in a sin such as this was punishable by being stoned to death, and the townspeople were probably already raring to go, stones in hand. 
The Pharisees, however, see an opportunity to try and trap Jesus - something they were good at attempting, but never successful at. They grab the woman and fling her down at his feet in the center of the crowd that was almost certainly gathered around by then. Starting in verse 4, we read this:

"They (the Pharisees) said to Him, 'Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?'"

This woman probably had nothing on, maybe a sheet to cover herself with if she was lucky. Already her embarrassment and emotions are high - she woke up that morning to just another day, with a chance to meet with the man she would be caught with somewhere in the plans for the day. Now she is laying practically naked on the hard ground in front of Jesus, a respected teacher, and surrounded by Pharisees and members of the town. This was not going well for her. She expected the worst to come from Jesus, a judgement fitting of a respected teacher and a follower of the Law of Moses. She probably braced herself for the words along with the stones that would surely follow.
Imagine her surprise, then, as Jesus does something completely unexpected. He doesn't condemn her. He doesn't ridicule her or add to her embarrassment and fear. Instead, He does something completely unprecedented. 
He gets on her level.
Jesus literally kneels down to the dirt next to the woman and begins writing in the dirt. Put yourself in the eyes of those who were there: 
The crowd was probably shocked - what is He doing? Why is He doing that? Does He even have an answer?
The Pharisees were probably confused, and some may have been angry - who does He think He is? He shouldn't be writing, he should be agreeing with us. What is He doing?
The woman was probably the most shocked out of all of them. What is He doing next to me? The others don't want anything to do with me other than to kill me for what I've done. I've made a mistake, and I have to pay for it. So what is taking Him so long to tell them to kill me?
Let's pick up in verse 7:

"And as they continued to ask Him, He stood up and said to them, 'Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.' And once more He bent down and wrote on the ground."

So let's review: an adulterous woman is brought before Jesus for judgement. Instead of condemning, He gets on her level not once, but twice, and then tells those so quick to throw a stone that whoever is on a different level and hasn't sinned can throw the first stone. 
Well then.
The story concludes with the people crowded around slowly dropping their stones as they realize the weight of Jesus' words far outweighs the weight of whatever they're holding. Eventually, no one is left but Jesus and the woman. She had to be confused out of her mind, trying to make sense out of the crazy scene that had just happened. Jesus stands up and asks, "Where are they? Has no one condemned you?" She tells Him that no, there's no one left. This is what He says:

"And Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.'" v. 11

Jesus has made a tremendous impact in the time it took for this story to happen. First, He gets down on the level of an adulterous woman - one of the lowliest people in those days. Second, He tells the crowd to reevaluate their lives before impacting this woman's life. Third, He gets BACK down on the ground near the woman. Then, He gets up, shakes off the dust, and shows how no one is left to condemn the woman, and that He doesn't, either.
There are some major lessons that can be learned from this.
When Jesus shows the woman how everyone has gone, He's showing her who really matters in this situation - just the two of them. The woman doesn't need to have everyone judge her based on her sins. If this was what needed to happen, all of us would last about a week before someone would stone us to death based on our sins. Instead, it's just the woman and Jesus. The only two that matter. Once the matter is taken care of - the woman asks for forgiveness, she sees His love her for, and really doesn't want to do it again - then it's over with. Finished. It doesn't need to be dealt with with other people. They may judge, but who really cares? Her sin, and ours, is only between us and God. Only He can fix us. Why should we make other people try?
Jesus got down on her level - not in the way we see it now, but on a completely opposite way. He was perfect - He did literally nothing wrong His entire life, and here He is getting down in the dirt with an adulteress. He's reaching below His level to someone who is and never can be as good as Him. And He does it twice. Jesus does this and is willing to do this every day. He wants a relationship with us - He doesn't want us to think that He is so far away and unreachable just because He is perfect and holy. While He is those things, Jesus is still right there. He loves us enough to go down to our levels - our sad, sinful levels - and reach out to us there. And He's willing to do it again - not just twice, like with this woman, but as many times as it takes until we get the picture and see His love.
Your NR challenge for this post is this: what level are you putting Jesus on? What level are you on? Do you think that He is unreachable? Do you need Him to bend down and look you in the eye to see His love for you, so He can rescue you from wherever you are? Or are you afraid of the judgement of others, even if you know it doesn't matter? Know this: whatever you've done, whatever you'll do, whatever you've been and whatever you are, God loves you. God cares about you. He's right here, on your level. Will you look up and see Him?
Are you in?

-Kimber.

sorry sorry sorry

Sorry I haven't been posting regularly on here - I feel like I'm saying this all the time lately but it's necessary. Things have been busy and I've been getting some serious writer's block. Yes, it's real and it sure sucks. I have some great ideas but I just haven't been able to word them the way I know they should be and so rather than putting out some garbage posts, I've instead stayed quiet. I'm trying to fix this! Writing right now with some motivation and ideas that I've had for a while so say a prayer it works and hopefully you'll find something new soon.

-Kimber.